What tomorrow will bring

I’ve created this inferno in your gaze.
an escape from reality in which I find myself.
and to it I return with my disappearance
when time finds it convenient.

it's relative to the space.
when I search for it, the place will accept me
only to make me return to my past and,
once again,
leave the present in which I consistently find myself.

I see you a thousand times in my dreams.
And in all of them your face grows paler
from the previous place I’ve been.
where I’ve lived and in despair sought to find you.

In an impractical situation I spoke to you
and from whispers I created a will to possess only what I do not desire.
to go and come.
I search only what I do not know.
I want only the unknown.

You were created without emotion.
Dead to the touch of a puppet
whose hands and hollow words you wish for.

I return to your gaze...
Why so many faces?
why so many enigmas if you are always the same?
I lack the will to fight for what is mine
so I slack in the simplicity of the platonic.
for it is easier not having to face the truth
(that you created. that you so obviously created!)
of your gaze.

I avoid repetition
in the constant search
of the ecstase that you represent.
Naked bodies,
hands full of pain
that transpire the taste of victory in your consumption.

(why do I lie?
where is there victory in the ephemeral?
the trivial in achieving only what I need make no effort for?
I am a hypocrite of egocentric actions.
I live in the contradiction of my words
so that happiness is always a step away.
so I can be satisfied by conceiving
realizing that I can never behold what is at arms length.
Mages and wizards are my justification
to not give one step forward.
So I can never be free from my objective.
For I am no one.
Who am I to move forward
if that power was not given to me?
if God made me a paraplegic of emotion?
And so, I live. "Happy").

nccuco